Oh please, please don't idolize me. Don't put me on a pedestal. Don't say my name with reverence. Don't imitate me. There's nothing about Jacob that is worthy of honor or respect. If you only knew what I am you would never again speak highly of me. I am wretched. I am filth. If there is any shred of decency or purity in me, it is wholly by the grace of God. I am a sinner, yet saved by grace. Loved of God. Bloodbought. If there is anything honorable about me it is that I seek God's will and God's truth. But even this is from God. So do not praise me for my goodness - that is idolatry. But praise my Lord and savior, who through his unfathomable love and patience would redeem and refine and restore even such a wretch as me. Give God your praise; I seek it not. Jesus make it so.

This speech was directed to myself. I struggle with pride sometimes, and I have to remind myself that I'm really not all that. Unfortunately, in an effort to avoid pride I tend to become scornful or hateful of myself. In the past (and even now, I think) I tend to speak lowly of myself because that's what we call humility.