I prayed that God would bless me or curse me. [Oct 1] Either one was ok. God chose to bless me. Which was surprising, because I figured God would be like "Oh wow, finally someone who's willing to experience hardships! I'm gonna really give it to him." But it didn't turn out like that, in fact, just the opposite. Weird. Anyway, I'm feeling really "high" right now. And not just because I'm very conscious of God's blessing, but I feel like I'm really able to devote myself to God right now. I wrote a paper last night about the Sermon on the Mound, and it occurred to me that I should pray before I started - not that I'd write a good paper or get a good mark, but that I'd really learn something through the assignment and that it would really impact my life. And I think God really answered that prayer. I've found myself with a totally greater awe of God - his holiness (stop and think about that word "Holy". Think until it sends a shiver down your spine. Think until it changes your life), his power, his majesty and grace. I've found myself stopping several times today in simple wonder and reverence of God. The second effect is related: I think I'm starting to really hunger and thirst for righteousness. It's incredible. I'm yearning for a closer relationship with God; striving for a purer servanthood. Oh God, great and holy, magnificent and exalted over all the earth, do not let me cease to hunger ant thirst for your righteousness, but rather increase my longings, even as you fill me, that I may be ever growing in the knowledge and service of you, my sovereign king, my exalted Lord, the Most High God. Jesus make it so.

I've forgotten what the blessing referred to at the beginning of this post was. Nothing spectacular, I think. I might have just been feeling good that day. The word "holy" was amazing to me at the time. I guess I'd never thought about it before, and it suddenly filled me with awe.