What can I say? I'm beginning to feel like simply wanting to fallow God is not enough. It's interesting because this year for the first time in my life I feel like I really, truly want to honor God more than anything else, and I'm prepared to do anything for him. But somehow it's not enough. God seems silent, or distant, and I don't feel like I'm really being stretched to do all that I can do. Is there a formula that I missed? I don't think so. Then what? Am I just being impatient? Maybe, but is it wrong to crave holiness? How many times have I said "God, I'm ready. Do your will in me" and meant it (as much as I can mean anything) and heard nothing? Maybe that means I'm right where God wants me to be, doing just what I should be doing, but it doesn't seem like it. Lord God, my master, my heartbeat, command me! You have authority over me. If I am not ready then make me ready, but if I am ready then use me. Your will be done Lord. Jesus, sweet Jesus, make it so!