Well, it's 11:44 and I have a New Testament exam in the mourning which I'm really not prepared for. I worked the late shift at my Impact placement and I got to talk for a couple hours with my boss. Now I'm thoroughly hosed, and I'm trying to decide if I can claim righteousness here or not. Ya, I was talking about important stuff, but I had a lot of time today to study in, and I was sort of procrastinating. Anyway, my frustration with God continues. I don't know about the whole baptism of the Holy Spirit thing. I'm no closer to deciding if I believe in it or not than I was in October. And that's frustrating. God, show me the truth. Seriously now. I'm tired of playing games. Let's DO THIS. God please. You know me better than I do. Am I not ready? Perhaps not - then MAKE me ready. I'm tired of being a half-assed Christian, God! Let's do this. Let's go. Please, please God, I beg you in the name of Jesus: help me. Don't let another day, another moment go by with me wavering like this. Jesus intercede for me. Spirit groan for me. Father revolutionize me. Conform me absolutely and unreservedly to your will. I beg you to take me, whatever that means, now.