I need to get out of this mindset I'm in. I have no faith. I question everything - theological concepts, church doctrines, the infallibility of the Bible, and the goodness of God. And it's crippling. It's poisoning. I can't show my joy to others, because I have an attitude of misery. I can't tell someone that Jesus will help them, because I don't believe he will. I am angry and mistrusting. And I'm wasting my life. I have 60 years on this earth to do God's work, and I'm sitting around playing self-destructive mind-games. I think it would be quite possible for me to spend the rest of my life in this state. What a waste! Oh, I want to have faith, but I don't even feel like I should want it, because if I want it too much I may concoct it out of my own mind. But even if it's real, it will still probably be indistinguishable from a psychological trick. And I would inevitably doubt it, even if I didn't want to. So I'm big-time stuck. But I need to get out. Jesus, help me. I'm hosed God, you're my only hope.