Jesus rule over me. God, I've written you a lot of pretty words. I've prayed a lot of pretty prayers. I'm not always sure how sincere I am - am I writing from the true longings of my heart, or just spouting poetic babble for the pleasure of my own ear? Jesus make me transparent. Make me real. Let me see with crystal clarity, as you do, the true nature of my heart. Show me my flaws and failures. Guide me through my circumstances. Jesus, please don't leave me lukewarm and impure. I want to live a radical life for you. I want to fly higher; I want to hurt deeper. Sink your claws into me, God. Don't hold back. Oh bind me to your purpose Lord. Never let me go. I am willing, I am longing to live for you. Pour it on, God, pour it on, pour it on! Oh God, why am I saying this? You know what I'm really wanting, even so much more than I do. So why do I even pray? Or do you really want to hear it from me? Here it is: GOD, POUR IT ON! That's what I've got to say. But how can I ask you for anything? You know what's best, and you'll do it. I trust you in that. Or is it supposed to just focus me on what I should do? In that case I guess the message is "Pour it on yourself!" That's what some people I know would say. Lord, help me in that. It's so hard. But just in case everybody's right and there is power in prayer, I bend all that power on this: God, pour it on.

This is how I pray. This is why prayer seems so pointless to me. I ask God for things, but he knows what I want and what I need. Why would I even want to advise God? Or will God really not do his best for me unless I ask him? And why do my prayers seem to have no affect on anything? The whole thing is maddening.